Un Cooked Raw and Unfinish: One

Flash back
to when I sold dope in front of the crack house
All comments aside,
it was either do or die in my eyes
so I apologize for my limited understanding
of what life was truly about-
I did it –no doubt

And I can’t rewind the grind-
to my niggas doing time,
those that lay in decay,
if we knew a better way
we would have dedicated time-
instead we increased the crime

or better yet -I speak for self,
with the 9 mili tucked under the belt
is how I held it down in Sarasota,
a Dade County Soldier for the
distribution of the cola-

the cook king to crack feins
the addiction to shiny things
hardly betrayed my vision-
some rewarded double life in prison
that wasn’t the outcome we envisioned,
but we advanced on it anyway-

like how I shut ‘em  down in VA-
Newport News-
gave fuck boys the blues-

pistols used or misused,
somehow we all abused
our right to progress in a bias society-
in a capitalist economy

where every dollar holds the blood of the unfortunate-
welcome to a world where the wolf benefits,
and the three little pigs represent lean bacon for the meat eaters-
where every soul is cold so we conceal heaters-
and warmed it up for those that sought to defeat us-

and this is just a portion of what I wish to share-
on how we evaded welfare to make it well fair,
how we reduced the value of the hood
with random shots and  sales of illegal goods-
how we portrayed hood life as the good life
how we took life to live life
to be condemned to life

I can’t justify my plight
neither would I bullshit about my wrongs
or promote them in hip-hop songs

so I drop bits and pieces in poems
hoping that someone reads it,
maybe the future will need it
and be warned not to repeat it
and seek the wisdom to heal generational ills

I still feel like I’m two seconds from a dope deal,
two minutes from a shoot-out
or some nigga running up in my house-
and I got to show them what killings about-
I’d rather display what life’s about

I quantum leap back in front of the crack house
Carol City Bahas
where I named the local cops JAWS,
protected the team’s financial flaws
and ran off the rats like bigger cats
with bigger gats- SCRATCH THAT!

not even these words can soothe my pain,
like how we dumped the dope down the drains
when the cops came

and all you can remember is when you had it
but now you don’t-
then I was ignorant enough
to make that sacrifice,
but now I won’t-

this is dedicated to XXX
and her lil brother on 37^th Ave
when they chased him down and shot em-
middle finger to them same muthaf___
as I jumped back in the car a week later saying
“I got em”-

to the projects and government plans
that induce this type of thinking,
mature now, thinking-
what the fuc_ was I thinking

and yet life still shrinking
for the average youth today
the ELDERS say they paved the way
but the OG’s went astray

(like i said...unfinished!)